I've been floating in a food fog the last couple of days. Not really aware that I'm eating, not listening to my body, not watching what I eat. My emotional upheaval has wreaked havoc on my relationship with my man, my classwork and my thesis. And this needs to stop.
I'm turning twenty six today and damned if I'll go through another year of no change. Of no awareness. Of no personal growth and no loss of weight. I need this and damnit, I deserve this.
It is weird how emotional damage really screws you up. I could handle this if I broke my arm or something. But when someone breaks my heart? That's a whole other story. The good news is he and I are working it through and getting help - we do love one another and we've decided that this relationship deserves 110% effort. So we're doing it.
the bad news being that I'm eating shit like donuts and thinking fuck him, he can love me fat. Which is pretty twisted, as I'm only hurting myself.
But I never claimed to be rational.
We are going to be a healthy home. I have plans for us. Belief in us. We both do. It starts with cleaning out the cupboards and taking out a cook book and making a grocery list.
Here I am, yet again.
I'm turning twenty six today and damned if I'll go through another year of no change. Of no awareness. Of no personal growth and no loss of weight. I need this and damnit, I deserve this.
It is weird how emotional damage really screws you up. I could handle this if I broke my arm or something. But when someone breaks my heart? That's a whole other story. The good news is he and I are working it through and getting help - we do love one another and we've decided that this relationship deserves 110% effort. So we're doing it.
the bad news being that I'm eating shit like donuts and thinking fuck him, he can love me fat. Which is pretty twisted, as I'm only hurting myself.
But I never claimed to be rational.
We are going to be a healthy home. I have plans for us. Belief in us. We both do. It starts with cleaning out the cupboards and taking out a cook book and making a grocery list.
Here I am, yet again.
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