{source}I want to play on sports teams again.
I learned to skate when I was three. I played on hockey teams (with the boys) until I was fourteen. I remember going to hockey camps when all my friends were spending weeks at the beach. I remember changing in the boy's hockey room and being the only girl there. I remember when I first learned to skate backwards and how thrilling it felt to be able to move so swiftly. The feel of the thin blades beneath my feet, the coolness of the air inside a rink, the slash of ice as we skated back and forth, doing drills. Man, I miss hockey.
I started playing soccer when I was eight. I played on soccer teams until I was eighteen. I remember spending weeks at soccer tourneys and sleeping in a tent. The sweltering days, playing under the burning son. I remember the secret thrill of picking my usual number - 16 - and getting that jersey with my last name sprawled across the back. the nervous tension in my stomach as I waited for a game to start. The cattiness and absolute unity of a girl's soccer team. I miss the feel of running and kicking and breathing and success.
I started playing softball when I was thirteen. I played in summer softball tourneys until I was eighteen. My brother would wake me up, tell me to get ready and I would throw on some shorts, a sports bra, a tank, and away we would go. Playing random mis-matched teams, before we could have breakfast or coffee. The feel of the bat vibrating when I would hit a ball, long and hard. The crazy absolute insanity of running towards a ball flying towards you, trying to catch and tag at the same time.
And during all this, I was also playing volleyball, badminton, basketball and plenty of school sports. I ran long distance track (1000m) as well as high jump and the 100m. I was athletic and busy and a team player. I was a part of something that depended on me for my skills and athleticism.
I miss it. I miss being able to play with the boys and being a top-gun on the field. I want to be that girl again. The one usually chosen as Captain. the one who liked winning and had no problem giving it her all. The one chosen first for a team.
I miss that girl.
I learned to skate when I was three. I played on hockey teams (with the boys) until I was fourteen. I remember going to hockey camps when all my friends were spending weeks at the beach. I remember changing in the boy's hockey room and being the only girl there. I remember when I first learned to skate backwards and how thrilling it felt to be able to move so swiftly. The feel of the thin blades beneath my feet, the coolness of the air inside a rink, the slash of ice as we skated back and forth, doing drills. Man, I miss hockey.
I started playing soccer when I was eight. I played on soccer teams until I was eighteen. I remember spending weeks at soccer tourneys and sleeping in a tent. The sweltering days, playing under the burning son. I remember the secret thrill of picking my usual number - 16 - and getting that jersey with my last name sprawled across the back. the nervous tension in my stomach as I waited for a game to start. The cattiness and absolute unity of a girl's soccer team. I miss the feel of running and kicking and breathing and success.
I started playing softball when I was thirteen. I played in summer softball tourneys until I was eighteen. My brother would wake me up, tell me to get ready and I would throw on some shorts, a sports bra, a tank, and away we would go. Playing random mis-matched teams, before we could have breakfast or coffee. The feel of the bat vibrating when I would hit a ball, long and hard. The crazy absolute insanity of running towards a ball flying towards you, trying to catch and tag at the same time.
And during all this, I was also playing volleyball, badminton, basketball and plenty of school sports. I ran long distance track (1000m) as well as high jump and the 100m. I was athletic and busy and a team player. I was a part of something that depended on me for my skills and athleticism.
I miss it. I miss being able to play with the boys and being a top-gun on the field. I want to be that girl again. The one usually chosen as Captain. the one who liked winning and had no problem giving it her all. The one chosen first for a team.
I miss that girl.
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