breakfast was indulgence

Today was my last day of "friend" indulgence. You know - when guests come over and it's just easier to eat what they eat. I scarfed down this chocolate thingie and skinny Starbucks like nothing. And it was good.

But it was only temporary. The day was a whole, hot mess of bad eating and that left me feeling nauseous and sick to my stomach in classes tonight. I felt woozy, light headed and like I was going to throw up.

Pay attention to your body bitch. It's telling you something.

That is what I'm thinking. I ate so much sodium today it's crazy. I feel it in my face, in my feet and in my head. And it is not good.

Thank god my excuse is gone. I also promised the boyfriend that I would work out tomorrow, since I indulged so much today. It helps me, being accountable to someone else.

and the guests are almost gone

I've weighed in at 316.4 lbs - so down 2 lbs from the 30th, which is great. I'll take it. I haven't been doing my food diary and my water intake is averaging 5 cups a day, which is better than the zero I was at before. My skin is slowly emerging from its crazy period oil fest and the water is really helping it calm down. Water is beauty - my new mantra.

While I did indulge in Mall Food, I tried to balance it out by walking the mall in a brisk fashion. I did work up a sheen for half an hour. It was uncomfortable, but then again, sweating always is. The rush of adrenaline isn't there for me yet. But it'll happen, it'll happen.

earned my dinner, yes I did

I went for a long two hour trek through trees, ropes and pulleys today. I sweated, gasped for breath, and took a ton of pictures (love that scenery) but it was good. I was tired after it - clammy, cold and tired - but it felt good. A nice ache in my bones that I haven't felt in a while.

Then I had the most delish supper ever - bbq ribs, mashed potatoes and a beautiful apple slaw. And a slice of pumpkin pie. Yum.

yesterday with guests

I have a guest this weekend. He's wonderful, funny and locving. I adore him. But it's always harder to eat right when guests are about.

Yesterday wasn't a huge failure. A healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner. Had six glasses of water. But then we all got restless and decided to go to a movie - Zombieland was hilarious! - but then I had a medium popcorn, with butter, and a large bag of peanut M7M's. I felt stuffed and a bit icky and of course, bloated. I did stick with water as I am weening myself off my daily Diet Coke, so that was good.

I did have a skinny cinnamon dolce latte. For those of you unfamiliar with Starbucks, that just means, sugar-free, non-fat, no whip. It's still super good. I am in love with it. No jokes. When I've had a really hard day - with writing - I splurge on a tall soy Pumpkin Spice Latte. The soy is so nutty and it tastes amazing when paired with pumpkin spice. It's decadent and good and fall-like.

But anyways, he'll be here until Monday so it will be a continuous decision process of what to eat and how to eat - but isn't that my life anyways?

and she's done with the doctor

Well, the outcome is what I expected. Somewhat embarrassing, somewhat liberating. Although it's never good to have bad news, at least I know what it is and I can work towards healing now. The doctor herself was very kind, compassionate and professional. Even though I was practically lying half-nekked in front of her, letting her poke around my nether regions. Yay for me.

I also got some great exercise in that I normally wouldn't have by walking around downtown - all hilly - looking for the walk-in clinic. It's all about the positive.

chilly mornings make me crawl back to bed

{photo source}

Since I started living on the coast, I have come to appreciate the coldness of a Prairie Winter. I appreciate the cold hard winds, the bone-chilling numbness and the dryness of it all. There's something so satisfying about knowing you'll be cold outside and warm inside.

Here, on the coast, you're just always cold. As the morning fog creeps away and the grey of the day settles in for the long haul, my apartment is cold. I have hardwood floors so my feet are cold. I'm wearing a tank that I slept in so my arms and hands are cold. All this just means that the warmest place is the bed that I left.

I will go back to bed. I'm a writer with weird hours so I'm a night owl, easily. And I've only managed a few hours of sleep so far. But cold - it's always harder in the cold.

The damp and wet feeling of the day makes me crave hot latte's, hot chocolate, pumpkin pie, cinnamon and apple pie, turkey and roast potatoes. A time for snuggling under the blankets, candles flickering, a fireplace roaring with flames. A time for baked goods, warm pastries and heavenly smells. I want comfort food and it doesn't help that I'm on Aunt Flo.

But... we must make do. Small sacrifices. I may not get all that, but I'll get a fantastic, freshly-ground cup of coffee over a latte any day. I'll get lean turkey breast and a wonderful salad instead. I'll bite a small square of dark chocolate over hot chocolate.

I'm going to focus on a healthy balance and awareness this month. I want to keep myself focused on what I'm eating and how that affects me. I want to food journal everything while maintaining my water intake as well.

finding a new family doctor

I've lived in my new city for a year and today is the first time that I need a doctor. It kind of sucks but it can't wait so I'm on the prowl to find me a female family physician, which apparently, is like finding the perfect bannock recipe - nice to think about, but unrealistic.

And to make matters worse, the area in question happens to be on the very upper area of my thigh, you know, that wonderful soft and fleshy place where thighs rub together and skin never sees the light of day... yeah, that place.

So I have to find a new doctor and essentially strip in front of them from the waist down, let them push aside my folds of upper thigh fat, and peer into my crotch region. Wonderful. I feel giddy already.